I’m a Germ

germsMy name is Joe. I’m a germ. You can’t see me because I’m so small, but you’ve seen what I can do. My job is to make you sick. I love my job. And I’m good at it. All I need is a chance to get inside you. It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that I was born to hurt you.

One of my favorite ways to get inside you is to jump from your hands to your mouth. When you lick your finger, or touch your mouth, or touch food that goes into your mouth, that’s my ticket in. I get excited just thinking about it.

There are 5 places I love to hang out, waiting for you to touch so I can get on your hands. Some people call them the top 5 dirtiest everyday objects. That’s music to my ears. If you touch any of them, then I can hang out with you. Here they are:

Top 5 Dirtiest Everyday Objects

#5: Doorknobs and handles. You can’t avoid them! I love it, especially when someone with a cold opens the door right before you do.

#4: Light switches. No one thinks of light switches as being germy. After all, how often do you clean the light switches in <i>your home?

#3: Money. The money you have in your purse or wallet has probably been touched by hundreds of hands – hands that someone has coughed on or wiped their nose with. I love it when someone puts a dollar bill in their mouth.

#2: Keyboard and mouse. One of my favorite ways to get inside people is when they eat food while using the computer. I jump from mouse to food to mouth. Public computers are a great way for me to meet people.

#1: The kitchen sponge. Surprise! It’s warm and wet, and outside of you, one of the happiest places for me to hang out.

I also make my way to your hands when you:

  • grab handles on subways
  • push elevator buttons
  • hold on to escalator hand rails
  • touch handles on shopping carts (I love when babies put their mouths on them)
  • shake hands with someone
  • use someone else’s cell phone
  • touch anything that someone else has touched

What I Hate

wash your handsI hate when you wash your hands. Getting washed down the sink keeps me from getting in your mouth and making you sick – what I live for.

On the other hand, I love it when you DON’T wash your hands – makes my job so much easier.

Here’s My Warning

Let me into your body and I’ll make you sick. The best way to keep me out is to wash your hands often with warm soapy water for about 20 seconds, or about as long as it takes to sing the ABCs.

So you better look out for yourself and for the children you babysit.germs

I’m not worried. I’ll be back, and someday you’ll get careless and forget I’m there.

My name is Joe. I’m a germ.

To read the article that inspired this post, click here.

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